Beth

My own personal sabatage

In Day What?, wailing and moaning, WeightWatchers® Weigh-In on August 10, 2009 at 2:40 pm

What is it about me that causes me to eat uncontrollably? I’m thinking food addiction. It doesn’t help that ice cream, cookies, birthday cake are bought and kept in this house. Whenever I get stressed, that’s what I go for.

I’m so tired of being out of control. I don’t know what it’s going to take. I’m okay most of the time, but then I get down, and head for comfort food or food for comfort. Makes me miss smoking.

Still whining and complaining, but not doing what it takes to get it together.

Here I am at 249 lbs. It’s just not attractive at all. I remember when I weighed 180. I had a double chin, but at least I could wear normal clothes. I used to wear a 14-16, now I wear a 22-24.

What is my problem?

In Day What?, Stupidity run amuck, wailing and moaning on July 18, 2009 at 3:07 am

motivational poster for counting caloriesI wish I knew. All of a sudden, even my husband is counting calories. Weird, huh? But me? I’m still sabotaging my own success. I guess I’m in that place in the road where I’m afraid of success. The last time I had success, it blew up in my face. What about now? What is my deal? Why can’t I stay on program?

What drives us to fail

In Day What?, Stupidity run amuck, wailing and moaning on June 18, 2009 at 6:41 pm

I guess you can see by the previous date that I gave up somewhere along the way. I think it started with the stupid camping trip and got worse from there. While packing for said camping trip, I packed my measuring tools. They were unpacked for me by my husband. When asked about it, he said, “You don’t need those for 4 days.” Apparently, I did. It was a downward spiral for me ever since. My friend stopped going to meetings, so therefore, I stopped going to meetings. All this is NOT the cause of my demise.  I alone am responsible for what goes into my mouth. I am the one who didn’t have a plan for food daily, let alone a plan B of what to do if plan A falls through.

What has driven me to fail? Myself, laziness, not caring about what happens to me.

I have to get myself out of this rut. Pray for me.