Beth

Archive for 2009|Yearly archive page

My own personal sabatage

In Day What?, wailing and moaning, WeightWatchers® Weigh-In on August 10, 2009 at 2:40 pm

What is it about me that causes me to eat uncontrollably? I’m thinking food addiction. It doesn’t help that ice cream, cookies, birthday cake are bought and kept in this house. Whenever I get stressed, that’s what I go for.

I’m so tired of being out of control. I don’t know what it’s going to take. I’m okay most of the time, but then I get down, and head for comfort food or food for comfort. Makes me miss smoking.

Still whining and complaining, but not doing what it takes to get it together.

Here I am at 249 lbs. It’s just not attractive at all. I remember when I weighed 180. I had a double chin, but at least I could wear normal clothes. I used to wear a 14-16, now I wear a 22-24.

What is my problem?

In Day What?, Stupidity run amuck, wailing and moaning on July 18, 2009 at 3:07 am

motivational poster for counting caloriesI wish I knew. All of a sudden, even my husband is counting calories. Weird, huh? But me? I’m still sabotaging my own success. I guess I’m in that place in the road where I’m afraid of success. The last time I had success, it blew up in my face. What about now? What is my deal? Why can’t I stay on program?

What drives us to fail

In Day What?, Stupidity run amuck, wailing and moaning on June 18, 2009 at 6:41 pm

I guess you can see by the previous date that I gave up somewhere along the way. I think it started with the stupid camping trip and got worse from there. While packing for said camping trip, I packed my measuring tools. They were unpacked for me by my husband. When asked about it, he said, “You don’t need those for 4 days.” Apparently, I did. It was a downward spiral for me ever since. My friend stopped going to meetings, so therefore, I stopped going to meetings. All this is NOT the cause of my demise.  I alone am responsible for what goes into my mouth. I am the one who didn’t have a plan for food daily, let alone a plan B of what to do if plan A falls through.

What has driven me to fail? Myself, laziness, not caring about what happens to me.

I have to get myself out of this rut. Pray for me.

I can stop at any time

In Stupidity run amuck, wailing and moaning, WeightWatchers® Weigh-In on March 29, 2009 at 7:37 pm

celebrity-pictures-cookie-monster-stop-anytime1You believe that, don’t you? You believe me that I can eat just ONE of those 100 calorie Hostess thingies. You believe that I can only eat the one serving of Doritos®. That I can stick to my points and actually know what those points are? Yeah…sure…right.

Last week, I went by the rules and stayed within my 28 points. I lost a piddly .4. I have a bad day this week and decide, “Screw it, I’m going to eat!” And eat I did. It started off an okay day, nothing unusual, and then hammered into a day when hades broke loose. I ate at least three helpings of that dang Kashi Go Lean® cereal, 4 Hostess 100 calorie snacks®, 1/2 bag of Doritos®, 1/4 bag of Cheetos®, “And a partridge in a pear tree…..”.

I expected the worst on the scale Saturday. If I lost my 5%, I felt I truly deserved to after that day. As I stepped on the scale, I thought “around and around she goes, where she stops, nobody knows..” like the wheel for the Showcase Showdown on The Price is Right©. It did finally stop. On 234.2! I had lost 1.2 lbs after all! So, what was the lesson learned? Always face the music on the scale, no matter how bad you think you screwed up.

The Winning Streak is Over It Seems

In Day What?, wailing and moaning, WeightWatchers® Weigh-In on March 23, 2009 at 12:30 am

I couldn’t possibly expect to continue losing with the numbers I’ve had. Last week,  it was 2.8.  Two weeks before that, it was 3.8.  I’ve lost 16.4 lbs in 6 weeks. That’s an average of 2.73 lbs. I just hope that I don’t have this dry spell of not losing. Finally, I feel like I might know what I’m doing with WeightWatchers®. I’m not inclined to screw it up now.

Sorry I’m late…..

In wailing and moaning, WeightWatchers® Weigh-In on March 17, 2009 at 12:28 am

dial-close

but I don’t have a great excuse. Seems like if anybody else had lost 2.8 lbs, they’d be shouting it from the rooftops.  I guess the truth is I wonder how long before my time runs out on weight loss. Lately, I’ve been pleasantly surprised. But to be honest, I’ve not started walking yet. I think I’m leery because the last time I tried walking at this weight, (235.8), I injured myself…my knee, actually. And gained 16 pounds. Which I’ve lost now, but still kind of skiddish where exercise is concerned.

Anyway, hurray for me! Only 85.8 more to go….

Day 63

In Day What?, Stupidity run amuck, WeightWatchers® Weigh-In on March 7, 2009 at 8:16 pm

498e29797b6be_61193n1Sorry, I don’t have anything witty to put in the title today. It’s been 9 weeks ago today that I started WeightWatchers®, and I hit my 5% today!  I weighed in at 238.6, making my total to date: 13.2. Now I have to get to steppin’… see, I kind of made this bargain with myself that I’d start walking AFTER I hit my 5%.  Unfortunately, they gave us a sample of these Mint Cookie Crisp Mini Bars and let’s just say, I shouldn’t have ever bought a box. While they taste just like Girl Scout Cookie Thin Mints, they also are addictive. I must confess that I’ve eaten 8 of them.  That leaves me with 7 points left for the day. What an idiotic thing to do!

Caution…you might hurt yourself!

In Day What?, WeightWatchers®, WeightWatchers® Weigh-In on February 28, 2009 at 9:39 pm

made_at_wwwtxt2piccom I had another good week! I was expecting maybe 1.5 lbs, but was pleasantly surprised when it was 3.8!  That puts me down to 240.2! The 5% is so close I can almost taste it, but I don’t know the point value.

I was so excited to go home, and put my numbers in to the WeightWatchers eTools.  I was throw aback by the cautionary tone in which the eTools informed me I was losing too fast, and possibly could jeopardize my health. Oh, you mean worse than the 89 extra lbs I’ve been carrying for ten years?I have sleep apnea, bad knees, heel pain as a result of being overweight and you’re telling me how bad I can hurt myself by losing too quickly? As if.

I’m sure they didn’t mean to rain on my parade. And I’m not going to turn numbers like that all the time. TOM is coming and that usually adds to my grief. But I’d like to hang on to this feeling as long as it lasts. And I am watching it. Just not using the weekly points allowance arbitrarily.

Made it another week…

In Day What?, WeightWatchers® Weigh-In on February 21, 2009 at 5:49 pm

I worked hard this week and got a loss of 2.6 lbs to show for it! I really had to concentrate on getting through the day without going too much over my point allowance. We even ate chicken and dumplings last night and I didn’t swell up like a sponge. I didn’t know that there was even a point allowance for them…who’d a thunk it?

Last week: 246.6

This week: 244.0

Total for this week: – 2.6  lbs.

Success at last! Day 42

In Day What?, WeightWatchers® Weigh-In on February 14, 2009 at 8:37 pm

overweight-332420Finally! After 42 days of being on WeightWatchers®, the scale moved in the positive direction. I lost 5.2 lbs! I wish I could tell you exactly what the turning point was, but I think it had to do with my accountability partner. She knew I was struggling after my family (in-laws) were here and she gave me the most precious card. It gist of it was that she believed in me. And I finally got it.  I tracked, made substitutions, made people mad when I didn’t go along with their choices for meals. A rebel with a cause, I guess. I know that every week won’t be wine and roses, but at least I made it a week without the “whine”.